Cross My Heart
by Seirei Ishtar
Summary: [One Shot Crack Fic] It was amusing, the way both men were trying so hard to get her for themselves. [AxelLarxeneMarluxia][LarxeneSurprise]


Because apparently, going all day on only two and a half hours of sleep produces some _very_ odd and badly thought out ideas.

Complete and utter crack. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of it's characters. Those lucky peoples at Squeenix and Disney do ;;

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She honestly didn't know what to think. In the past, she had gotten all kinds of little gifts, sure, but this? This was something new.

And she dared to say, she rather liked it.

There stood Axel, staring down at her expectantly, looking all to proud of himself. With a smug expression, he pulled his hand from behind his back, revealing what he had gotten her.

Cradled in his gloved fingers was a heart. Not one of those cheap plastic imitations infatuated morons gave their crushes, oh no. This was the real thing. Cold, unmoving, and still leaking small streams of blood, the dark liquid pooling into his palm before dripping steadily onto the floor.

Had she still had one of her own, Larxene would have found the gesture rather sweet.

In a sick, twisted kind of way.

With a cruel smirk, the Savage Nymph sat up from her reclined position on the couch.

"Why, Axel, how sweet. I didn't know you cared."

Axel just shrugged, smug expression deepening.

"Only the best for you, babe."

"Of course. Now if you'll step aside, I can give it to her."

There was the soft swish of a cloak, and Marluxia appeared from a portal that had opened behind Axel; using the flat of his scythe's blood stained blade he roughly shoved the red head aside. With a decidedly wicked grin, he walked over to the Nymph and offered his own little gift.

Larxene's eyes lit up.

And Axel's expression soured considerably.

Cupped in the Graceful Assassin's gloved hand was another heart. The only difference between this and Axel's was that this one looked to be freshly obtained. Plump, warm, and still beating away, soft tissue glistening with the blood that still continued to be pumped out.

With a soft "Ooh", Larxene carefully accepted it, holding it as though it was a precious porcelain doll. She watched with morbid fascination as it continued to pump uselessly away, its rhythm slowing more and more with every passing second.

She held it close to her chest and looked up at Marluxia with an expression that perfectly matched his own.

"Awww, Marluxia, thank you. I'll treasure it."

"I thought you'd like it," Marluxia replied smugly. He glanced over at Axel, a cocky smirk set deeply into his features. Axel merely rolled his eyes, scowling.

"Oh, please..." The red head quickly created a portal behind him, and turned to grin at Larxene before stepping through.

"Hold on Larxene. I've got something even better." And with that said he vanished.

There was a pause. After a moment, Marluxia created a portal as well, and disappeared after Axel. He wasn't about to let the red head win this one.

Larxene remained on the couch, eyes still glued to the dying heart she held in her hands.

She smirked.

It was amusing, the way both men were trying so hard to get her for themselves.

And it was almost amazing at how wrapped she had them both, without even trying.

The Nymph's already enormous ego swelled just a bit more.

There was the soft sound of a portal opening beside her, and the blonde looked up to find a certain Lancer staring blankly down at her.

"Should I be wondering why you've yet to tell them about me?"

"Awww, and spoil my fun?" Larxene asked innocently. Stretching, the blonde got up and walked over to Xaldin, offering him the heart with a smile. The Lancer watched it give one last hopless twitch before it ceased beating altogether, and turned back to the Nymph with an expression that said 'What the hell do I do with that?'

With a shrug, Larxene tossed the now dead organ behind her. She smirked and stepped closer, lazily wrapping bloodied hands around the older man's neck.

"I'll break the news to them eventually. When they're no longer amusing, they'll be tossed aside like any other toy."

"Soon, I'd hope." It was a statement, not a question.

"Relax," Larxene purred, pressing her body snugly against the Lancer's. "I'm all yours, remember?"

Xaldin didn't answer. Instead, he wrapped an arm around the woman's waist in an almost painful grip and pulled her even closer, snaking his free hand around her neck as he leaned down to catch her mouth in a demanding kiss. Larxene hungrily returned it.

It wasn't until wandering hands started to go for various zippers the two decided that _maybe_ they should find themselves someplace private.

Larxene suggested her room. Xaldin didn't object.

The two weren't seen for the rest of the night.

The next morning, Larxene was surprised to find that both Axel and Marluxia had started to avoid her like the plague.

When questioned, Xaldin smirked, and swore he had nothing to do with it.

Cross his heart.


End file.
